Fat Fatty Fat Fats

"F" stands for "FUCK! Stop eating!"

Working in a vitamin store (a job I completely detest by the way) puts me in direct contact with a lot of fat people. Naturally, they’ve waddled into my small corner of retail hell to look for a magical bullet to remedy a lifetime of binge eating and sloth.

Over the years of working in this shithole, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. Weight loss isn’t the singular obsession that it used to be. I’ve noticed the same slow transition in pop culture. Recently a popular brand of jeans came under fire because they ran an ad saying “Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes” that displayed three women who were all hot and slender, with varying ass sizes.

I consider political correctness to be a plague that’s devouring our nation of entitled consumers. Celebrities receive millions of angry emails for a semi racist comment. Jabs at homosexuals and minorities are met with waves of disingenuous outrage. I’m not saying racism and intolerance is cool, but fuck…lighten up you weeping little cry babies.

No where is the devastation of political correctness more obvious than in our approach to fat people. I swear, it’s become acceptable to be a shambling mass of melted cookie dough that no longer resembles the vague proportions of a human.

We used to mock fat fuckers, and for good reason. They’re gobbling up more than their fair share of finite resources. A complete absence of willpower is a worthy subject of mockery.

We’ve gone from an unreasonable standard of beauty to being completely apologetic towards behemoths. Frankly, they’re fucking disgusting to look at. I’m sorry. It’s not nice, but if you’re really fat, then you’re fucking gross. Fat is gross. Obese people aren’t beautiful. They look like shapeless bladders of goo.

This is the wretched, buttery slop that's sloshing around inside that wretched vessel you call a "body."

I often entertain the fantasy of our world after the collapse of society. Tribe cultures would be the natural communities that we would gravitate towards. Naturaly, food would be scarce. Can you imagine how quickly this horse shit, politically correct attitude towards paunchy bastards would disintegrate?

In the Road Warrior world, these elephantine specimens of indulgence will be hunted for sport. Bipedal whales will be made extinct because they’ll either slim down out of necessity or they’ll simply get their greedy cake holes filled with hot lead or shoe leather, when bullets become too valuable to squander.

I know this seems unnecessarily hateful and harsh, but these gargantuan creatures need to be put on notice. They’re embarrassing our national community. Europe is fucking laughing at us! Y’know…the folks who swill dark beer and eat deep fried dough rolled around sausage? Those pricks are laughing at us. That’s unacceptable.

So fuck fat people. Short of harassment or violence, let’s remind them that their self hate is justified. If you’re offended by this, then you’re probably part of the portly problem and you need to get your jiggling ass on an elliptical machine.

Hotties like this will earn a place in my harem by collecting at least one cutlet from a fat bastard.

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